Dealing With Critics

Life has all sorts of challenges and one of those is facing Negative Nancys.  They are everywhere we go, and it is next to impossible to avoid them.  We find them at the work place, out shopping, on the internet, and even in our own family.  They come in all shapes and sizes, and some are easier to deal with than others.  When suffering from a chronic illness like IBD the critics can be very intimidating when attacking things we either find embarrassing or sensitive ourselves.  Though people can still get to me sometimes I have found ways to let it bother me less and less.

A. The Teaser: These people are everywhere.  It's the person that says comments about how skinny or chubby you are because of IBD, about how much you poop, or about how loud you are in the bathroom.  We've all dealt with bullies throughout our lives, but when the teasing hits a sore spot it can make dealing with it even more difficult.  I deal with it in one of two ways.  If it is someone I will never see again I just laugh with them and move on.  It does not pay to give them any power of you.  If it is someone I face on a continuous basis I have found it best to make it clear the remarks are unacceptable.  This can usually be done while being polite by just informing the person about IBD.  Once the bully is fully informed of the disease they are less likely to tease you for it.

B. The Medical Expert: This is the person that always tells you how you can cure IBD.  While we all know there is no cure there are many people who have heard rumors or are ill-informed and believe they know better than your doctors.  Most of the time it is about something your eating or not eating or about trying the latest craze.  I like to thank these people for their suggestion and let them know I will bring it up at my next doctor's appointment.  I think most of these people are trying to be helpful so getting snarky back does no good.  If it continues, I just politely let the person know that I have a team of doctors who have my best interest at heart and I follow their orders.  If it still continues, I just avoid the person from then on.

C. The Downer: This is the person on all the support groups who has it the worst and is never going to get better.  This can make your recovery even more difficult especially when you are at a low point yourself.  The easiest and best way to combat the downer is to block him.  If you are on a support group that this cannot be done, avoid reading his post.  I feel positive, but realistic information on support sites are best.  All others can be subject for ignoring.

Overall the best advice I have for dealing with critics is to not engage in an argument.  Continuing conversations with teasers, medical experts, and downers furthers their hold on you.  If you begin to feel uncomfortable change the subject or leave.  If the problem continues, the relationship may have to come to an end.  This is never an easy decision, but sometimes it is one that must be done.