My New Tattoo

After many years of contemplating on what kind and where, I finally got my first tattoo a week ago.  It was my 34th birthday present to myself.  I decided on a tree design with the Crohn's & Colitis Awareness ribbon hanging on the left and the Eating Disorder Recovery symbol hanging on the right.  The tattoo represents the growth that I have gone through with both disorders and the strength that they gave me.  Having a chronic disease has taught me many things in the years that I have suffered.

I have learned that the body is in a delicate harmony with itself.  One little thing can lead to a series of problems that can take years to recover from.  Malnutrition has lead to the immediate effects of dry skin, lack of energy, and depression.  It has also lead to more series problems such as low blood pressure, fainting spells, osteopenia, and anemia.  On one occasion I had a leukemia scare when all my blood counts dropped.  It was believed to be a side effect of medicine I was taking for Ulcerative Colitis.  Another nasty side to chronic disease.  Today I am sure to take all medicine as prescribed, eat healthy, take vitamins, and exercise to keep the ying and yang of my body in balance.

I have learned that while the body can be weak, the mind is always strong.  If you think that you can make it through, you can and you will.  There were many nights (and days) I felt I was at the end of my rope.  It is easy to lose hope and give up.  I would like to say I never did, but I had my moments of hopelessness and helplessness.  I would lose my way, but I always was able to find it again.  I found it helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist and still see one today.  I don't see this as weakness.  I have learned the most about myself through therapy sessions.

The greatest thing Ulcerative Colitis and Anorexia Nervosa have given me is gratitude.  I am grateful for all that I have in my life.  I am grateful for my husband, cat, and family.  I am grateful for all my friends who have stuck by me in all my troubles.  I am grateful for my job, and having a great boss who is so understanding.  I am grateful for each day that I am able to get out of bed, get dressed, leave the house, and have the world at my fingertips.

This may seem like a lot of meaning for just one little tattoo.  I'm sure my next tattoo will mean absolutely nothing.