The Real Anorexic

Today I'm going to try to raise some awareness to another disease that is dear to me and that is eating disorders, specifically Anorexia Nervosa.  This is often a misrepresented and misconstrued disease.  Between both Ulcerative Colitis and Anorexia I have to admit I am more ashamed to admit my battle with Anorexia because of the stigma it brings.  Many people still believe anorexics fit the mold of the rich, young, vain, white girl.  I am going to spend my time today debunking these myths.

First, I am far from rich and almost all of the other people I have met in my recovery journey are far from rich.  I grew up in a middle class, blue collar, working family.  I grew up learning to always save money for a raining day and to never take your job for granted because it may not be there tomorrow.  Not that people who may have more money are bad, but the stereotype is that because these girls come from rich families they need to bring on drama.  Anorexia is not about bringing on more drama.  In fact it is used as a coping mechanism to escape the drama already going on.

I am also far from vain.  I hardly ever wear makeup, take 3 minutes top to do my hair in the morning, and buy clothes based more on comfort than style.  This goes the same for most other anorexics.  The people suffering from Anorexia usually suffer from low self-esteem and feel they are not good enough to even dream of being vain.  So Anorexia isn't about becoming skinny to look good, but usually about becoming skinny in order to hide or run away from something.

Although I was still young and in my 20's when I developed Anorexia, I was no longer the stereotypical teenager.  In fact it is becoming more and more prevalent in older generations and sadly younger than 10 as well.  When I was receiving treatment I was in a Thirty and Beyond group for those 30 years old and older.  This group became so popular it unfortunately had a waiting list to get in.

Now you may have heard about boys and men having eating disorders and think it's an exception to the rule.  While it still is, the male population developing eating disorders is skyrocketing.  In my first round of inpatient treatment at a facility that accepted both men and women I met two males out of 15 who where there for treatment of eating disorders.  It is because of this stereotype that less males seek treatment and the easier it is for them to hide their eating disorder.

I may be white, but all races develop Anorexia.  I have met blacks, asians, muslims, and hispanics who all were in treatment the same time as me.  Their stories were basically no different than mine except many of these groups receive more criticism for their eating disorders.  It is a sad reality of Anorexia.

One of the biggest misconceptions of Anorexia is that the anorexic can just get over it by starting to eat again.  This is why eating disorders are still not seen in the every day population as an actual disease.  Many think Anorexia is a choice.  This is as far from the truth as the cancer patient choosing to have cancer.  I never set out to become anorexic.  Instead I went on my first ever diet because of steroid weight gain which then triggered the disease.  I tried unsuccessfully for 7 years to work my way out of the throws of Anorexia.  Every time I would begin to eat and gain weight my anxiety increased ten fold.  The only way I felt I could function in society without losing my mind was to resort to not eating again.

And just like Ulcerative Colitis, I will always carry Anorexia around with me.  I will always look at food differently.  I will never see my body the same way again.  Anorexia changes a person just like every other disease.  And just like every other disease the process of recovery makes a person stronger as well.  There is nothing easy in recovering from an eating disorder.

I would like to dedicate this post to all of the wonderful people I met in my recovery.  Some are still struggling and others are in recovery just like myself.  Every person I met in my path of recovery has meant something to me.  I will never forget anyone of them as they have all given a little of themselves to me.