A New Normal

In honor of world IBD day I thought I'd come back to my blog. It's been awhile since I visited and lots have happened. In either case, I have adapted to life as a different normal from what most experience.

Normal now consists of 6-12 bathroom trips a day. I wish it was only to pee, but alas it is number 2 that drives me to the bathroom. What a normal person would find incomprehensible I find good. This is better than the 20-30+ times a day I went in the past. I still experience urgency, but it is not a every moment kind of thing. Fortunately, now the accidents at night have stopped. Imagine how embarrassing it is to have an accident in the middle of the night when you are married. I'm still not far enough removed from this as I still were pads to bed every night. Yup, that's right, a pad. And don't forget the pantie liners every day for the leakage.

While I may look happy, go lucky, pain is still a normal thing for me. I have severe pain about twice a week. As most recently as last week, I had to cancel appointments due to extreme abdominal pain. This isn't your normal stomach ache. This is doubled over, no relief, pain. Fortunately, this does not come often. Usually it is just a stabbing pain that I work through. Most days consist of some sort of nausea followed by bathroom trips, followed by stomach pain followed by a few bathroom trips. But yet, this is better than it was before.

I recently bought a Jawbone. I bought it for two reasons. One to keep track of my calories in/calories out. Another to track my sleep patterns. While most who track their calories and exercise are trying to lose weight, I am just trying to maintain. I have to make sure that my calories in not only match my calories out, but exceed them. Otherwise I lose much needed weight. I also track my deep sleep per night. In the short time I've had my Jawbone, I average 2 hours of deep sleep a night. Can you imagine working a full day followed by and evening with family and a workout on 2 hours a sleep per night? Yet, this is normal for me.

Another problem I face is being thin, but not sick thin. I am at a normal BMI which many still find "thin". While many do not see me as sick, I a still technically am. While, many think of me as skinny, I am not  a picky eater. I wish people wouldn't judge thin as "lucky". I wish I could eat whatever I want, whenever I want. If I do, I pay a price (which I often do). What I am eating and when I am eating is still consistently on my mind. I need to plan things. Spur of the moment isn't always on option.

Life consists of a multiple of prescription and of the counter medications even though I feel "better". I am on Cipro for pouchitis and abscesses, and Tramadol for arthritis. I take Pepto Bismal and GasX every night before bed to help control accidents. There are other medications, but these are the ones I take every day no matter what. This is what I do to stay healthy. Otherwise it's back to square one, the hospital.

While this may all seem to be bad, it is light years beyond where I was 4 years ago. I am able to work full time. I help instruct Tae Kwon Do. I volunteer at a no-kill cat shelter. I spend time with my husband. And I enjoy my hobbies of going to concerts and spending time outdoors. All things I couldn't image doing 4 years ago. Four years ago I was existing; that's it. Today I am living. The reality is life with IBD is not easy, but it is still life.